We play games sometimes
With ourselves, our hearts
With the person we love most
Or the one we love least…
We lose ourselves always
With the one who owns us
With the one who shows us
Life is difficult without him…
We believe in life
With our love we strangle the mind
With our hopes we silence the cries
But sometimes its just time
Time to move along
Time to give ourselves a chance
Time to know that what feels right,
Is sometimes just very wrong..
Faith you can carry along
Fear you can always rebound
Truth will follow u
Love will stay and guide…
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Thursday, February 03, 2005
......
I want to savour the unsavoury, love the unloved, cherish the ignored and caress the untouched. Sometimes I want to move beyond my mind and its self imposed boundaries and see what is truly human. I want to go embrace all that I shirk from, only to break my own ego and my own barriers. I am this person seated here and also every person in the world. But I choose what emotion to exhibit. I want to meditate, its something I miss so much. To let silence envelope me and only listen to its song. The melody cascading down my head through my veins spreading completely inside me till each nerve is dancing to its beat.
Yes I am again focusing on me, but I want to teach my ego a lesson. I want to be humbled as I constantly am. Because I am not unique, it is only my actions that will make the difference. I need to discipline my heart and mind. I am often quite the errant child.
Yes I am again focusing on me, but I want to teach my ego a lesson. I want to be humbled as I constantly am. Because I am not unique, it is only my actions that will make the difference. I need to discipline my heart and mind. I am often quite the errant child.
A topic no one likes to know about
My job gives me the opportunity to learn about something that was absolutely foreign territory. How Government works, what it is, who are the people involved etc. I am ashamed to say that though I am 25, I have never voted till date. I have never felt or understood the need to vote, until now.
We all have such a negative low opinion of government in India and the way it works. I agree that many in the sector are befitting of low regard and spite people so handily give out to the government, but how many of us really see and understand that politicians alone does not equal to government. How many of us realise that the people who get things done are often bureaucrats, IAS officers who make the changes.
The government system is ancient beyond words. What we just unthinking took from the British without modifying it to suit our local systems, without considering that it provides a way for people to exploit the already weak. But I guess it worked then and people did not want anything different. People are used to being trodden over. We are good at saying this is life and accepting all as the ulterior design of god who wants us to suffer our karma.
Corruption is rampant and people are so self contained with the way things are. Politicians still promise people free power and we fools knowing full well the folly of trusting the kurta clad actor, still nod our heads and vote him back into power. Fundamentalism is on the rise as is the idea of religion and not religiousness. Maha aarti’s are said to work but not heartfelt prayer (irrespective of the mouth that voices it)
But then how do things still get done. Why do we keep hearing of things improving economically? Its refreshing for me to see the other side of the picture now. I can see the few IAS officers and politicians and officials and academicians and grassroots :- NGO’s, who believe in change and who work with conviction and faith. Despite all negatives there are few who are determined to cleanse the government and even if things change by 10% it would be a big achievement. E-government is one such tool which I now believe will change the way the world works. India in particular. But it has to come from the top. Most will be unwilling but the few who are firmly rooted to their moral fibre should push this down the gullet of the unwilling politicians and bureaucrats. India is in for a major change. Period.
( more on e-government later)
We all have such a negative low opinion of government in India and the way it works. I agree that many in the sector are befitting of low regard and spite people so handily give out to the government, but how many of us really see and understand that politicians alone does not equal to government. How many of us realise that the people who get things done are often bureaucrats, IAS officers who make the changes.
The government system is ancient beyond words. What we just unthinking took from the British without modifying it to suit our local systems, without considering that it provides a way for people to exploit the already weak. But I guess it worked then and people did not want anything different. People are used to being trodden over. We are good at saying this is life and accepting all as the ulterior design of god who wants us to suffer our karma.
Corruption is rampant and people are so self contained with the way things are. Politicians still promise people free power and we fools knowing full well the folly of trusting the kurta clad actor, still nod our heads and vote him back into power. Fundamentalism is on the rise as is the idea of religion and not religiousness. Maha aarti’s are said to work but not heartfelt prayer (irrespective of the mouth that voices it)
But then how do things still get done. Why do we keep hearing of things improving economically? Its refreshing for me to see the other side of the picture now. I can see the few IAS officers and politicians and officials and academicians and grassroots :- NGO’s, who believe in change and who work with conviction and faith. Despite all negatives there are few who are determined to cleanse the government and even if things change by 10% it would be a big achievement. E-government is one such tool which I now believe will change the way the world works. India in particular. But it has to come from the top. Most will be unwilling but the few who are firmly rooted to their moral fibre should push this down the gullet of the unwilling politicians and bureaucrats. India is in for a major change. Period.
( more on e-government later)
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
encounter of a different kind
Last weekend I was on my wits end. I had met my greatest challenge in a long time. My opponent was reckoned for his speed and agility. He was known to walk only on the path he made for himself. The setting for the encounter was my kitchen, and my opponent was Mr. lickin’ lips, the mighty lizard with the beady eyes.
My fear for lizards is matched only by my husband’s fear for them. Only this time I knew I had to step up and be the brave one. Husby darling refused to even venture from the front room.
I opened the window on whose pane the lizard was perched. But my gesture startled him and he landed with a plonk on my kitchen top. I held my breath and waited for him to scale the walls and escape. For a second we started at each other, and then he desperately tried to scale the granite slab on the kitchen platform, only to keep sliding. It was then that fear gripped me.
The granite was too slippery for the idiot who daringly took a dive off my window. Now he was literally swimming on the slippery granite walls trying to get off! I instantly got my broom for defence. I wasn’t going to let him run amok on my kitchen and with trepidation cornered him in one section of the l-shaped platform. The next 15 mins he ran from one end to the other chased by a whisper of hair from my broom. The process was accompanied by my unrelenting pleas to my knight in shining armour to come to my aid. With each plea the TV volume turned louder. I didn’t want to kill the lizard, he looked too alive. I could see his belly moving up and down. His eyes darting and his lips moving as he tried to chew the broom.
Brainwave! I ran to the balcony and came back with a formica board, my homeowner had left behind thoughtfully when he rented the house to us. (Though I had cursed its presence all this while, now it was a gift from him to me). I placed it thoughtfully in one corner ensuring it was near the window and thus providing a ladder for the lizard to scale on and escape. I continually guided the lizard verbally up the escape route. But he chose instead to go hide behind it.
After an hr, at 11 in the night, frustrated I pushed the idiot to the board guiding him up. The first attempt bought the realisation that the lizard couldn’t climb up! How on earth had he got on my window pane in the first place. I could sense that he was terrified but I couldn’t give his fear much concession. Mine I decided was bigger. It was time to wage war.
I pushed him down the platform. Let him run across the floor, out the kitchen. no no not to front room. another push.. NEVER behind the fridge, another push. yes to the balcony door. Hurray! Out! What! You cannot climb regular walls. Now the formica board came real handy. I scooped the lizard on it. One hand on the board and the other holding it down with the broom (I sure didn’t want it to run up the board and onto my arm! urrrgh now that would surely be my worst nightmare). I plonked him on the sill trying to push him out. Only he sought refuge holding onto the grill and I literally had to pry his claws apart from the metal grill. and then lo he disappeared. For a moment I felt a little sad and lonely.
Moral of the story: Animals don’t possess human intelligence. They want to survive and don’t understand human tactics like climbing up makeshift ladders. Next time you want to help a lizard, instead of killing him, dont wait an hr! Sweeping him away from a broom saves time and is your best bet!
My fear for lizards is matched only by my husband’s fear for them. Only this time I knew I had to step up and be the brave one. Husby darling refused to even venture from the front room.
I opened the window on whose pane the lizard was perched. But my gesture startled him and he landed with a plonk on my kitchen top. I held my breath and waited for him to scale the walls and escape. For a second we started at each other, and then he desperately tried to scale the granite slab on the kitchen platform, only to keep sliding. It was then that fear gripped me.
The granite was too slippery for the idiot who daringly took a dive off my window. Now he was literally swimming on the slippery granite walls trying to get off! I instantly got my broom for defence. I wasn’t going to let him run amok on my kitchen and with trepidation cornered him in one section of the l-shaped platform. The next 15 mins he ran from one end to the other chased by a whisper of hair from my broom. The process was accompanied by my unrelenting pleas to my knight in shining armour to come to my aid. With each plea the TV volume turned louder. I didn’t want to kill the lizard, he looked too alive. I could see his belly moving up and down. His eyes darting and his lips moving as he tried to chew the broom.
Brainwave! I ran to the balcony and came back with a formica board, my homeowner had left behind thoughtfully when he rented the house to us. (Though I had cursed its presence all this while, now it was a gift from him to me). I placed it thoughtfully in one corner ensuring it was near the window and thus providing a ladder for the lizard to scale on and escape. I continually guided the lizard verbally up the escape route. But he chose instead to go hide behind it.
After an hr, at 11 in the night, frustrated I pushed the idiot to the board guiding him up. The first attempt bought the realisation that the lizard couldn’t climb up! How on earth had he got on my window pane in the first place. I could sense that he was terrified but I couldn’t give his fear much concession. Mine I decided was bigger. It was time to wage war.
I pushed him down the platform. Let him run across the floor, out the kitchen. no no not to front room. another push.. NEVER behind the fridge, another push. yes to the balcony door. Hurray! Out! What! You cannot climb regular walls. Now the formica board came real handy. I scooped the lizard on it. One hand on the board and the other holding it down with the broom (I sure didn’t want it to run up the board and onto my arm! urrrgh now that would surely be my worst nightmare). I plonked him on the sill trying to push him out. Only he sought refuge holding onto the grill and I literally had to pry his claws apart from the metal grill. and then lo he disappeared. For a moment I felt a little sad and lonely.
Moral of the story: Animals don’t possess human intelligence. They want to survive and don’t understand human tactics like climbing up makeshift ladders. Next time you want to help a lizard, instead of killing him, dont wait an hr! Sweeping him away from a broom saves time and is your best bet!
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