divine restlessness

Restlessness is a curse and a gift. I suffer from it. I am so confident most of the time, but when it comes to my writing I falter. I just remembered a lovely note my friend Mark once sent me: Martha Graham’s Letter to Agnes de Mille. That letter did wonders to increase my belief in my work. I had forgotten about it. Today I feel the need to read it again. I have places to go to, miles to travel before I rest said someone. Me feels I have miles to travel, rivers to cross before I begin to see what truly lies inside me. For me there will be no rest, only divine restlessness and undulated joy coupled with bouts of grief.. Me, I am going to have life as it is, in all its glory and with all its shallows.


Martha Graham’s letter to Agnes DeMille

There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening
that is translated through you into action,
and because there is only one of you in all time,
this expression is unique.

If you block it,
it will never exist through any other medium
and be lost.
The world will not have it.

It is not yours to determine how good it is;
nor how it compares with other expressions.
It is your business to keep the channel open.

You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work.
You have to keep open and aware directly
to the urges that motivate you.

Keep the channel open.
No artist is ever pleased.
There is no satisfaction whatever at any time.
There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction;
a blessed unrest that keeps us marching
and makes us more alive than the others."