From the yonder years

19/8/02

“Learn to love unconditionally. Love with conditions is merely appeasing your mind, love without rules is letting your soul rejoice.” I wrote this and then pondered about the nature of love. I first thought that the complexity of heart involved in loving someone was a quandary that solely afflicted those 20 or under. But little did I know that even grown ups who we think have mastered the heart’s consistent whining and persistent demands are still as susceptible to erring in matters of love.

I see some of my grown up friends each struggling to find that person who will bring to them completeness, peace that their soul claims. Each is mentally and spiritually richer than me yet they still have the same yearning that I possessed. I met someone I know will aid me in making this lifetime more meaningful and worthy. But I still do not understand the need we all feel for this love. Sometimes I just want to tell my friends that finding the person does not result in absence of confusion or any emotion that gets you down. Your love can sometime restrict you and bind you. Even when you sense that you are sometimes being an ally in aiding that dependency, rarely do few find the gumption to let go of this clingy need for each other. Personality clashes, different approaches towards situations, personal choices all can disturb the equilibrium. But moving beyond and conquering all that can pull your relationship down is what I consider unconditional love.

Love is a great teacher. It teaches you more about yourself and helps you see yourself more clearly. But it also involves leaving yourself vulnerable. The key is trust. But I am wandering off key over here. The need for love is what I was talking about. Many people committed to specific causes have moved beyond the need for having someone with whom they want to share their passion. Maybe their heart, passion and joy solely lie in the cause which evokes the peace we all need. But its love in some form or the other that drives us all in the end. Love for a cause, Love for peace, Love for enlightenment, love for a person etc.

What do I tell my friends who yearn so much for love, have even taken risks but who have met with disillusionment and yet after a while seek their soul-mate again? Do I ask them to hold on to their faiths or ask them to give up their needs. But one truth I learnt about life is looking out for love is not always the best solution. Love finds you if its time and if its meant to be. Countless have given up the joy of discovering love by compromising. But those who refused to compromise even after years are left yearning. What’s the right thing to do then?

Is there someone in this world who can give you the answers? Yeah, I believe that our soul gives us the answers. We are born with some wonderful habits, the ability to smile and the ability to laugh and be rooted to our truth, inner self each moment and above all love without reason. Laugh we may, cry we may, But we always get love in some form or the other, from someone or the other.